Hollow
by RobinxRaven writer
Summary: After Trouble in Tokyo, Raven has to come to terms with the fact that she will never be the one by Robin's side. Multi-chaptered. Prequel to "A Farewell Without A Word."
1. Trouble In Tokyo

Of course it was raining.

Her heart was breaking, shattering into pieces as she watched Robin and Starfire kiss. She didn't say anything, _couldn't_ say anything, couldn't react or move or look away as her body became numb, her chest tightening as she her breath caught in her throat while she stared in shock.

What had happened? He'd been looking at _her_. They'd smiled at each other; the both of them glad to have survived the fight against the mountainous monster. Then Robin had just turned away, running to Starfire and helping her up. That was perfectly normal; they were friends and teammates, so of course he'd want to make sure they were all okay before they started celebrating.

And then they'd just started to kiss, out of nowhere. At first she thought maybe she had been knocked out during the battle and was having some kind of a nightmare, but then they stood up, holding hands and walking over to her, whilst Beastboy and Cyborg cheered, saying it was about time and how they were happy that Robin had finally manned up. She didn't say anything, wasn't sure what to say or how to react to reach to the man she loved getting together with her friend in front of her.

She nodded when the two looked at her, turning around and putting her hood over her head. She couldn't face them right now, unsure whether to be happy or angry. Right now, she was just confused. Her emotions were in turmoil, and they were threatening to break free. It wasn't easy to try bottling them up, to keep them under control now that she was hurt like this. It had never been easy to keep them under control when she was around Robin before, but now?

The rain continued to pour, soaking her cloak and chilling her to the bone. She didn't summon a shadow-raven to use as a magical umbrella. She didn't care.

She didn't care about anything right now. Didn't care that they had won, that they were safe or that she was drenched in the icy rain or that the others were waiting for her to catch up while she was lost in thought. She didn't care that they were confused when she turned around and told them that she would catch up before walking in the opposite direction. She didn't care where she was going or where she would end up.

All she wanted to do was wake up from this horrible dream. This nightmare, the thing she feared more than her father or herself or anything they'd ever come up against or would ever come against in the future had bled into reality.

Robin had fallen for another.

As she walked through the streets, the rain continued to pour and lightning lit up the sky. Of course it's raining, she thought. It always rained in sad moments like this, in her books or the movies and TV shows that she'd watched alongside the others. It was a cliche, one that fit the situation perfectly. Her heart had broken, she didn't know how to feel, and the shitty weather was just adding to her growing… hatred? Confusion? She didn't know what to feel or think right now.

She walked around for a few more hours, until her communicator beeped.

"Raven, you coming back sometime soon?"

Of course it would be him. Sighing, she clicked the communicator and replied. "Yes, I'll be back soon."

~!~

Raven didn't get much sleep that night. She spent a long time meditating after seeing Robin and Starfire cuddled against one another as they slept. Raven wondered if this was going to become a consistent thing, now that they were together. She thought about how she'd have to deal with seeing them together, Robin treating Starfire the way Raven wanted him to her.

Closing her eyes and crossing her legs beneath her as she started meditating, Raven felt the dull ache in her chest start to recede as she sealed off her emotions. It wasn't easy getting them under wraps. Anger was threatening to break loose completely, whilst Wisdom was trying to convince her to accept it and pointing out they she and Robin were never officially an item. Happy was just being quiet, staring blankly ahead. Bravery was on Anger's side, telling her to pick a fight with Starfire, while Timid was sobbing quietly on the ground. Jealousy was outraged, probably more so than Anger was, ranting about how it should've been her Robin had kissed and fallen asleep next to.

It took far too long to control her emotions again. Raven couldn't remember the last time it had take hours upon hours to put herself back in control. Sure, it took an hour or two everyday, but it had never take most of the night with this much difficulty. It had been years since she _this_ close to losing control completely. Eventually, she got them all to settle down and took control. She fell asleep a few minutes later, exhausted physically from the fighting and emotionally from the whole ordeal that came afterwards.

~!~

The next day, they were being honoured as international heroes by the police chief. Raven was in control of herself enough not to be bothered when Robin and Starfire held hands. They were given medals, but throughout the celebration Raven hadn't really been paying much attention. Her gaze was fixed on the distance, staring at something no one else could see.

Eventually, the party had ended and they were on their way back home.

The journey by T-Ship across the Pacific was several hours, which worked well for Raven. It gave her plenty of time to think without the possibility of someone coming into her section of the ship and bothering her.

" _Maybe this is just how it was supposed to be._ " Raven wasn't in Nevermore. She was simply thinking to herself, listening to some music while she kept her eyes closed. " _If he's happy with her, then I should be happy for them. Robin's made his decision, whether I like it or not. Who he spends his time with is his business._ " Sighing deeply, Raven shifted so she could try and nap on the long journey back home.

~!~

"Raven, we're home!"

Cyborg's voice woke Raven from her slumber, and she groaned as she unlatched the safety harness and stood up. The pod had opened, and before her stood the familiar enormous T that had become her home.

"Starfire, what are you- whoa!"

"Come, my lover! We have much to prepare for now that…" Starfire's voice trailed off as she picked up Robin from his pod and carried him to the roof. Raven watched them go, her hands clenching into fists as Robin's laughter echoed down on them.

There was a tap on her shoulder, and Raven turned to see Beastboy giving her an odd look. "Everything okay?" He asked.

Raven gave a curt nod, walking past him and pushing open the door to the tower. "Peachy." She muttered, not bothering to turn around when Beastboy called after her. She was fulling intending on going to her room and meditating until her emotions were non-existent. Not to mention their rooms were sound proof, so she wouldn't have to listen to the lovebirds laughing and flirting unless they chose to do so right outside her room.

She lit a few candles and closed the curtains, sitting and going into a meditative trance. Once in Nevermore, Raven watched her emotions argue and bicker amongst themselves while she tried coming up with a plan.

"We can't stand for this!" A few emotions cried out.

"We don't have a choice." Some others replied.

Sighing, Raven listened as her inner turmoil played out on repeat over and over again. Wisdom came and stood next to her, watching with a passive disinterest in the commotion. After a few minutes, Wisdom turned to her and asked, "This isn't going to be easy, is it?"

Raven shook her head. "No, it's not."


	2. Daydreams

The first few days after Robin and Starfire had officially become a couple were the worst. It seemed the two were intent on rubbing it in the other Titans faces as much as they could during _every single moment_. During breakfast, Starfire just had to share with Robin a delicacy from Tamaran that would "strengthen their love", and of course Robin just had to let her feed it to him. Or after combat training, Robin would apologize if he'd hit her too hard, giving her a hug as consolation (which Starfire would return ten fold, nearly breaking Robin's back).

Raven, of course, was annoyed with how chummy they were being from the get-go. She didn't say anything because for one thing, it wasn't her place to tell them how to handle their relationship, and two, she could avoid Robin and Starfire if she put a little bit of effort into doing so. It wasn't exactly uncommon for Raven to not come out of her room unless she was needed for something specific, or for her to skip meals and eat on her own because she was busy meditating or reading and didn't want to leave her room.

After day four, even Beastboy and Cyborg were starting to get fed up with their act. During one day when they were all sitting on the couch (Raven had been there first, but then the others had come out and joined her), Robin and Starfire were cuddling whilst everyone watched TV. Then, Starfire got up to leave, and Robin playfully begged her not to go.

"Jeez Robin, never pegged you as the needy type!" Cyborg grinned, leaning back against the sofa.

Beastboy chuckled. " _Oh Starfire, how I couldn't bear to be away from you for even a single moment_!" He said in a falsetto voice, falling down to the ground dramatically. _"Please, I can't live without you_!"

Cyborg laughed out loud, whilst Robin sputtered. "I don't act like _that_!" He said, his face turning red. Beastboy continued to mock him, while Cyborg joined in, pretending to act like Starfire. "Guys, cut it out. Seriously, we don't do that. Right, Raven?" Robin asked.

Raven had been trying not to pay attention, honestly. However, it was kind of hard to ignore how accurately Beastboy and Cyborg were portraying the boy blunder and his girlfriend. Even so, when Robin asked her opinion she was inclined to give it. "You two are being a _little_ obnoxious." She stated plainly in a monotone voice, hiding her true emotions from the others. "We'd all appreciate it if you could tone it down, or at least wait till we leave the room before you two start acting all lovey-dovey."

Before Robin or the others could say anything, she closed her book and stood, leaving the room. She'd said what she needed to say; there was no reason for her to stay there any longer. Anger wanted her to let loose and tell Robin how she really felt, so now she'd have to go meditate to dull her emotions again.

It seemed that whenever she wanted to read outside of her room, something would happen to force her back into it.

That had been three weeks ago, and it seemed Robin and Starfire had taken their advice. Now, whenever the others were around they did tone the romance down to a tolerable enough level. Truthfully she hadn't thought Robin of all people would be the type of person to act all mushy with a girlfriend, but it just served as a testament to how little she actually knew him. Funny, how even after going into his mind she still couldn't understand him.

Raven was rarely around to be bothered by it. She spent most of her free time in her room reading spell books, or on the roof meditating. However, no matter what she did or how dedicated she was to her task, she couldn't seem to stop her mind from wandering to Robin.

Every now and then, just for a moment, she'd imagine Robin holding her close with his arms around her stomach, holding her while she read. There were a variety of daydreams she often had over the past few weeks; Robin and her laughing while watching the sunset, Robin making sure she was okay after a rough day or an argument with one of the other Titans, or of her and Robin watching a movie, with Robin pretending he was sleepy so he could pull her closer to him.

All those thoughts and images would last for a fleeting moment, before disappearing like a drop of water in the rain.

Raven knew the source for all those thoughts; Happy. It was doing what it would normally do, what it had done before Tokyo. And when it had first started dreaming of Robin, of a future with Robin, she didn't try to stop it because it _did_ leave her happy. But now… it just left a sour taste in her mouth. She couldn't do anything without Happy trying to distract her with thoughts of Robin.

Raven was on the roof, sitting in the floating lotus position as she chanted, trying to access Nevermore.

"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos… Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos… Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…"

Slowly, the outside world faded away, and darkness surrounded her. When she opened her eyes again, the sunlight and blue skies had been replaced with dim, far away stars and a cold, biting wind.

Raven was in Nevermore. Without the use of her mirror, it was much easier for her meditation to be interrupted and the connection to Nevermore dropped. Hopefully, no one would come up to the roof and try talking to her.

As Raven continued to focus in the material world, she willed Happy to manifest in front of her in her mind. Sometimes the other emotions would appear as well (sometimes they'd already be present when she entered Nevermore), but none of the others could be seen. It was probably for the best; if Raven had to deal with all her emotions at once things would take longer than she wanted them to.

As she continued to float, a cloak rustling caused her to look up.

"What's up, big sis?" Happy asked, grinning wildly and waving. "Want to hear a joke? Or maybe you wanna tell one!"

"I came here to tell you to stop." Raven said as she lowered her hood.

"Stop? I can't 'stop', I'm a part of you!" Happy laughed, and Raven rolled her eyes. "Besides, if Anger and Jealousy weren't being such big grumpy pants I wouldn't have to do anything in the first place!" Happy giggled again.

"They're like that because of you. It's impossible for us to move on because you won't stop thinking of Robin." Raven replied.

"I can't stop thinking of him, he makes me happy! Get it? Because I'm your happiness?" Happy laughed again, doubling over as she clutched her stomach.

"You're wrong." Raven muttered. "Once, that was true. The idea of the two of us together made everyone happy. But those were just dreams, nothing more. Now that he's with Starfire, he can _never_ make us happy. Not the way I want him to make me happy. And I can't let go of my feelings for him if you keep distracting me."

Happy pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. "So what am I supposed to do? I don't get the same kind of exhilaration from books that I get from Robin." She twirled about in the air, clasping her hands behind her head as she sighed dreamily.

"You need to stop."

Happy descended to the ground, and from the look on her face it was evident she was confused. "I… don't get it." She admitted after a moment.

"Right now, I need you to go away for awhile." Raven stated firmly. "Just like you did when we left Azarath. Every time you influence me, Anger influences me ten times worse. Maybe with time, after I've come to terms with everything, you can come back. But for now… you need to stop."

Happy frowned. She opened her mouth, only to close it after a moment, her words lost to the air.

"Okay." She said a minute later. "If that's what you think is best, I can't stop you. I just wish things didn't have to be this way." Nodding, Happy closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. Her cloak flapped about lightly, and when Raven blinked she was just gone, vanished into whatever darkness her emotions were tied to.

"I know. Azar knows, I wish things didn't have to be like this either." Raven muttered. "But there's nothing I can do." She stood there for several moments, unsure what to do next. _'It's probably getting late._ ' Raven thought to herself. _"I should start getting ready for bed.'_

Now that her business in Nevermore was concluded, Raven stopped her chanting and lowered her legs to the ground. The sun didn't look like it would set for a few more hours. She didn't have any plans for the next few days, so she could pick up her novel tomorrow where she left off today.

Sighing, she headed to the entrance to the roof and went down the flight of stairs. Since her room was on the floor two stories below the roof, it didn't take long to reach her room. However, she did pass by Cyborg as she walked through the hallways.

"Yo, Raven. Dinners ready, you gonna come eat with us?" He asked, putting a hand on her shoulder so she'd turn around.

Raven shook her head. "No, I'm gonna turn in for the day."

"Already? It's barely six…" He asked, looking at her with concern.

"Yeah… I'm just tired that's all." Raven reassured him, turning around and continuing the walk to her room.

"Alright then. We'll put your dish in the fridge, alright?" Cyborg called after her.

She kept walking, but turned her head to look back as she nodded, letting him know that that was fine. Opening the door to her room, she took off her cloak and tossed it to the side, where it fell on her desk chair. Walking over to her window and glancing out across the bay to Jump City, Raven closed the blinds. She moved across the room and laid down on her bed, not bothering to pull the covers up over herself.

Raven lay there in the dark, staring at the ceiling for a few hours before she fell asleep.

~Hollow~

A/N

Hopefully this isn't too angsty or OOC for the main three Titans. I'm really good with chill fics or fluff fics, but I wanted to write something with a more serious tone for a bit. Trying to write something dramatic without having a villain is actually a little hard. Let me know what you think.


	3. Depression

_Knock Knock Knock_

"Raven, you in there?"

Beastboy's voice awoke Raven from her slumber, and she blinked twice as the sunlight filtering in from the window momentarily blinded her. Sitting up, she looked over to her clock, which read 3:23. Stretching and yawning, Raven called back, "What is it?" She stood and walked over to her door, but didn't open it.

"Uh… you haven't come out of your room at all today. Or the past month, really. We were just, you know… wondering what was up." He said, the door muffling his voice.

Ever since she sealed her happiness away, Raven had been sort of… well, depressed. That's what happens when you take the bright part of your personality and send it to a dark void where it can't affect you. Luckily, just as she'd hoped, her anger was acting up less and less since Happy wasn't there to sidetrack her. Since Happy was gone and Anger was quiet, Raven had barely been leaving her room, and if she did it was to use the bathroom or get food or perform some other small, meaningless task.

She'd been skipping meals with the other Titans, waiting till they'd gone to bed before heating up her leftovers. The only time she saw Robin or Starfire was when they were training together in the gym or running the obstacle course. Even so, she didn't focus on them. Raven simply went about her business and returned to her room. Starfire had long since stopped coming to her room to meditate with her, even before Tokyo, so up until today no one had been bothering her.

"Nothing's up, Beastboy. Just a little tired." Raven didn't say anything else while she waited for Beastboy to continue.

"Um… that's what you told Cyborg, like a gajillion years ago. When you first started missing meals." Beastboy responded. "I mean, I can turn into a sloth, but even _I_ don't sleep for a month straight." There was a pause, and Raven could hear some shuffling before he spoke up again. "Are you sure you don't wanna talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?"

"For the last time Beastboy, _nothing_ is bothering me." Damn boy didn't know when to quit.

"Liar." Raven was about to open the door and tell him off, but he kept talking. "I'm an animal, and all animals know when people are upset… Okay, maybe not all of them, but dogs and cats definitely know when their owner is upset about something!"

"What is your point?" Raven rolled her eyes, cutting Beastboy off to stop him from ranting.

"Just that I know something's bothering you." Raven could hear plastic wrap crinkling. "Well, I'm gonna leave something here for you. If you don't want to talk to anyone, we can't make you. But you shouldn't bottle up whatever your feeling."

It grew quiet, and Raven felt Beastboy's presence fade away. After a moment, she opened the door confirming that there was no one in the hallway. Looking down, she saw that there was a book on the ground. She picked it up and opened it, brow furrowing as she saw the print on the first page.

 _This diary belongs to:__

"A diary? What kind of girl does he think I am?" She muttered as she closed the door, walking back over to her bed. She flipped through the pages, which each had 14 lines. The diary's cover itself was made of a soft, brown leather. The price tag was still on the back, and Raven saw that it had cost him $25.

" _It's thoughtful, but I'll probably never use it. Writing my feelings down isn't going to change them._ " She thought to herself, setting the book on her nightstand, behind the alarm clock. Raven lay back down, intending on going back to sleep. At least her dreams were of a quiet, tranquil darkness where she could exist free of the world around her.

~Hollow~

 _Knock Knock Knock_

"Mmmm…" Debating whether or not to respond to Beastboy again, Raven looked up at her clock. It read 6:48. The sun was setting behind the skyline of Jump City, so her eyes didn't have to adjust to the lighting this time around.

"Hey Raven, we brought dinner back!" It wasn't Beastboy this time, but Robin instead. "Are you gonna eat with us?"

"I'm not-"

 _Groooooowl_

"I'll be there in a second." Standing, Raven shifted her cloak so it was more resting more comfortably on her shoulders, and then raised a hand to her head. It only took a moment for her to push back a few locks of hair that were out of place. Not one to spend a lot of time on her appearance, she headed out of her room.

Arriving at the common room, she saw that the others had ordered in chinese food and everyone was sitting at the dining area. Her place had been set for her, to the left of Cyborg and Robin and across from Starfire and Beastboy.

"Hey, Raven." Robin greeted casually.

The others followed suit and she greeted them back, pulling out her chair and sitting down. She grabbed a fork and watched as steam rose from the rice and vegetables, blowing gently on it to cool the food down before she took a bite.

"Raven, guess what happened to Cyborg yesterday!" Beastboy spoke up between bites of food.

Raven didn't look up. "What?"

"Dude slipped on a banana peel!" Beastboy laughed, and Cyborg groaned.

"Well if someone would actually make sure their trash got into the _trashcan_ , other people wouldn't go slipping on them!" Cyborg defended himself. "My tailbone still hurts!"

"It was soooo funny. He tried grabbing something on the way down, but he accidentally pulled the fruitbowl down and started slipping on all of those as well!" Beastboy started to crack up, and Robin chuckled. "You should've seen the look on his face; it was like this…" She could hear Beastboy contorting his face, but she still didn't look up.

"Hmm."

The others watched as Raven twirled her fork in the center of her food, seemingly uninterested in actually eating it. Everyone exchanged a confused glance, but didn't say anything. It was silent for a few more minutes, until Starfire spoke up.

"Raven, I was at the mall of shopping yesterday. I saw a shirt that I thought you would like."

"..."

Starfire frowned, but continued. "Perhaps we could go together sometime and see if you would be interested in purchasing it!" She smiled at Raven, but Raven just shrugged her shoulders.

"Maybe." Raven took her second bite in five minutes.

The room grew quiet again, the sound of chinese food being munched on and the occasional squeak of plastic fork on plastic container bottom being the only thing to break the otherwise heavy silence.

"Oh yeah!" Robin set his fork down and wiped his mouth a napkin, leaning back so he could look at Raven. "We're all going on a picnic tomorrow, you wanna come with?" He asked, and everyone turned to look at Raven, who'd just swallowed her third bite of food.

"No." She stated bluntly.

"Come on Raven, what have you got to lose?" Cyborg pleaded with her.

He was seriously getting worried about Raven, everyone was. She was barely eating, she left her room even less than normal, and now she was flat out refusing to socialize with them.

"My peace of mind." She muttered as she took another bite of food.

"Please, Raven?" Robin asked.

Standing, Raven used her powers to float her food over to the fridge. "I'm going to bed." She called out over her shoulder. She started walking towards the door.

"You're going to bed this early? At least stay and… watch some… T.V…." Beastboy called after her, but faltered as Raven ignored him and disappeared through the doorway.

"What's wrong with her?" Robin asked. The others all turned to look at him, and he said, "It's like she's gone back to the way she was when we first started crime-fighting."

"Dunno." Cyborg said. "If only she would talk to us… what changed?"

Starfire looked over to Robin, and they shrugged their shoulders in unison.


	4. Rust

"Alright, we're clear on the plan?" Robin asked the others. The other Titans nodded.

They watched as Plasmus picked up a car, and people scattered as he threw at it a nearby building.

"Titans, go!" Robin called out, and together they charged. Robin got his attention with three exploding birdarangs, causing him to stumble as his leg fell apart. It quickly grew back, and Plasmus let out a roar and charged at the boy wonder.

He didn't get very far, because Starfire flew close to the ground and uppercutted him, causing him to stand up and wobble backwards. Cyborg started laying into the creature with his sonic cannon, and Beastboy took the form of Bull and charged, knocking the monster down to the ground. Just as Plasmus was falling back, Beastboy changed into a bird and flew away from the impact.

"Raven, now!" Robin called out.

Raven nodded, closing her eyes. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Her soul-self appeared when she cast her magic, and she flew towards Plasmus. " _Go to sleep!"_ She thought as she forced Plasmus back to his human form. As a monster, his mental defenses were basically zilch, so it didn't take long to force him into a deep slumber.

"Alright Raven!" Cyborg cheered as soon as Raven's soul-self returned to her body. "Finished him so quickly that we don't even have to shower when we get back home." The other Titans all approached her as the police rolled in, ready to take Plasmus back to jail. Cyborg bent over so he was at eye-level with Raven. "C'mon I'll buy a victory shake."

"No thanks." Raven said. "I've already eaten." She pulled her hood down, brushing some stray debris off her shoulder.

"Uh, no you haven't. I've been in the common room all day, and no else has been there 'cept me" Beastboy said. "Come on, you don't have to go back to your room do you?"

"I don't _have_ to. But I want to." Raven said as she took to the air. She got above the rooftops and spotted the tower, then started flying back. Admittedly it was a pleasantly cool day out, so she might stay on the roof instead of going straight back to her room. It might be enjoyable to meditate outside for once, instead of in her stuffy room with a bunch of candles lit.

"Raven!"

"Woah!" If it were possible to trip while flying, Raven was sure she'd done exactly that. Starfire had appeared in front of her from seemingly nowhere, scaring the bejeezus out of her. Once she'd regained her balance, she turned to Starfire and asked, "What is it?" Surely Plasmus had been safely carted away by now.

"I was wondering... well _hoping_ rather, that you would like to accompany me… on a journey of shopping?" She asked, tapping the ends of her index fingers together and looking at Raven with one eye closed.

"No." Raven started flying past her.

"Pleaaaase!" Starfire whined as she caught up to Raven. "You have become rather distant, and all of our friends are scared!" Raven stopped, turning back to Starfire. "We do not know what troubles you Raven, but we want to keep your companionship." She flew closer and put her hands on Raven's shoulders. "Please?" She asked once more.

~Nevermore~

"That. was. adorable." Wisdom said as she looked over at Timid, Anger, and Bravery.

"Agreed."

"I have an idea." Bravery said. "Let's go with her."

"Why?" Timid asked.

"Because we're all sick of being cooped up Raven's room!" Bravery exclaimed. "It's boring and you've gotten your way for far too long." Bravery turned to Anger. "I know you agree with me! Wouldn't you rather the big sister get out and do something?"

"I agree with Bravery." Wisdom said. "Perhaps this depression spell has gone on for too long."

"...Hmph." Anger turned its back to the others. "Do as you please. At this point, _she's_ outnumbered anyways." She motioned to Timid. "I could care less."

~Above Jump City~

Raven sighed as she felt sorrow overcome her. "I guess…" She mumbled. Starfire hugged her with the force of a truck ramming a concrete barrier, then proceeded to divebomb towards the ground.

"Magnificent!" She exclaimed, laughing mirthfully. They stopped just before they hit ground, and Raven wondered if it was Starfire's goal today to fly up to people and scare them when the crowd below them jumped out of the way. "Come, let us venture forth!" She grabbed Raven's head and lead them through the crowd towards Jump City's shopping district. "Excuse me, pardon me, coming through please!"

Raven sighed. She was starting to wonder if this was a good idea after all.

~Hollow~

"Starfire, we've gone into every store twice now! You haven't bought anything; what is it your looking for?" Raven asked as she and Starfire left a dress shop. "Don't you already have plenty of regular clothes besides your uniform?"

"The perfect dress!" Starfire said, as though it were simply a matter of course.

"Well, you're not going to find a good dress _Forever 21_." Raven pointed out. Then she stopped. Was there some sort of event going on she didn't know about? "Wait, why do you need a dress?" She asked as Starfire led her into another shop.

"Robin said he was taking me somewhere special soon, since it's going to be sixth months since we have begun the dating."

All of Raven's emotions groaned, and she rolled her eyes. Raven was sure she could hear Anger yelling. Even so, she had a duty as Starfire's friend to help her pick out a dress. "Did he say anything beyond that?" She asked after a moment. "Or just that he was taking you somewhere special?"

In a nearby vending machine, several coke cans spontaneously exploded. Raven clenched her fists to keep her powers under control.

"No, he said he wanted it to be a surprise and to wear something nice." Starfire blushed. "Well, he said nicer than what I normally wear."

"Uh huh." Raven stopped Starfire, pointing across the street. "We haven't tried there yet."

Starfire followed her finger to a store sign that read, _Monica's Dress & Jewelry Store_. She smiled, and they crossed the street, walking into the shop. "Good afternoon!" She greeted the clerk behind the counter, presumably Monica. "I was wondering if you could help me find a dress for a date I have soon."

Monica nodded vigorously and smiled. "I sure can! What kind of date is it?" Monica stepped around counter.

"A special one." Starfire held up a hand. "But I do not know the exact details of it."

"Oh-hoh, a surprise?" Monica covered her mouth with her hand. "I always have young girls come in and tell me this. Come along, I have just the thing." Starfire followed Monica to the back of the store, and Monica continued talking about all the girls who'd come in with similar stories.

"I'll be here." Raven mumbled. She sat down on a nearby leather armchair, crossing one leg over the other. She focused on trying to quell the emoticlones complaining inside her head. It wasn't easy. Wisdom was defending Bravery since it was getting chewed out by Anger and Timid, which was odd considering the two never teamed up. She could feel the other emotions watching and debating, but so far it seemed as if those four were the main problems. Starfire and Monica would be back before she could go into Nevermore and quell the chaos completely, so for now she elected to try and focus on something else so her powers wouldn't blow the windows out of their frames.

Raven passed the time counting down from 100, but Starfire eventually returned. "How do I look?"

She was wearing a white, sleeveless, boat neckline dress that stopped just above her knees. Instead of wearing her regular boots, Monica had given her a pair of heels to walk around in. She twirled, and Raven half expected the back to be open, but it wasn't.

"You look wonderful, Starfire." It was the truth. "I'm sure he'll like it." No matter how much it hurt to say.

Starfire smiled brightly and turned back to Monica. "Does it come in purple?" She asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry darlin'. I only have that dress in white. If you were willing to wait a few days, I could order one in on express-" Monica started, but Starfire grabbed her arms and started shaking her in desperation.

"Oh please! This would mean so much to me if you could have the purple dress in by Saturday!"

"I-I-I'll se-e-e-e what I can do!" Monica gasped as Starfire stopped shaking her. "Just give me your phone number and I'll call you with the details."

Starfire nodded, giving the landline to the tower and paying for the two day delivery on the purple dress. They said goodbye to Monica and left the store.

~Three days later~

Raven lay in bed, the covers pulled up to her waist. She'd been tossing and turning all night, but couldn't seem to get comfortable. She felt… hot. But the tower was air conditioned, and she'd even grabbed the fan out of the closet down the hall and brought it back to her room. Even so, she still felt hot and uncomfortable.

This was one of the times when she'd elected to sleep in something other than her uniform. She put on a tank top and comfortable pajama pants, even though she felt better off in her regular attire.

She was starting to wonder if the clothes were the problem at all. She'd gotten changed, turned the fan on, but Raven still felt hot and dizzy, sweat dripping off her brow as she shifted in bed again. _"Am I getting sick?"_ She thought. _"Maybe I've got a fever_."

No, that couldn't be the case. Her immune system was incredibly strong thanks to her demonic heritage, so the only that could get her sick was something supernatural. And those types of things tended to be easily identifiable, so the lack of them meant she couldn't count them as a possibility.

" _What is going on?_ " She was certain she'd never felt this way before. The heat seemed strongest at her core, and she rubbed her legs together as she stretched. That's when she felt it, unable to stop her face from turning red after realizing what was going on. " _Arousal? Why am I…."_

She felt phantom hands on her body, hot breath on her neck, and shivered uncontrollably. A few books floated into the air, flapping like bird wings before falling back to the ground. She felt the phantom touch again, in other places, and this time heavier objects started falling to the floor.

Raven stood up, going over to her window and sitting down in front of it. She needed to get herself under control before she destroyed half her room. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos... Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…"

She opened her eyes, and saw Nevermore. And the other emotions were all arguing, as usual.

"This is disgusting!" Timid cried.

"How dare he?!" Anger snarled, summoning a demonic hand and ripping a tree out of the ground. "I will not stand for this!" The emotion threw the tree away, and all the others ducked as it soared overhead. "You!" Anger flew over to Raven, getting right in her face. "Do something. _Now._ "

"By all means, tell us what you have mind." Raven said sarcastically.

"I say we march to his room and join the fun!" Bravery said.

"No."

"I doubt he'd refuse."

"Then you must be dumber than you act." Raven said. "We need to find a way to stop his feelings from transferring over to us." The others looked at her, nodding. "We can't just tell Robin not to have sex. I doubt he'd listen." She mumbled, "Boys…"

"Perhaps we should try strengthening our defenses?" Timid asked. "I-I mean, we've been able to block out his feelings of love for Starfire by meditating. Couldn't we just-"

"I'm afraid not." Wisdom spoke up, cutting her off. "This isn't an emotion. This is a physical feeling, one we've always felt since this connection between he and us was formed."

True, any time Robin had been hurt in battle or whenever he'd training, Raven had felt a dull impact ringing throughout her body as well. It didn't cause her pain, but she was always aware of just how he'd felt both physically and emotionally ever since the day she'd delved into his mind.

"So what do you suggest?" The other three emotions asked.

"Well…" Wisdom looked at Raven with a twinge of sadness, "We have to sever the connection."

A shadow appeared, and two dolls appeared from within. They bore the likeness of Robin and Raven, with an iron chain connecting them. The chain itself was rusted, and looked almost… frozen.

Raven felt her stomach drop. She took a step back. It was one thing to stop feeling what Robin felt, but to sever her connection to him completely… That was too much. "No." She shook her head. "I won't. I can't." Her voice cracked on that last word, and her fingernails dug into her palms, hard enough to draw blood.

"Look at this." Wisdom motioned to the chain. "This isn't healthy. This is damaged, and it can't be repaired. Not at this point." Wisdom sighed, looking down at the ground. "I know you don't like the idea but… I think, if you were to severe this connection, it might be easier for us to let go of our feelings for him."

"No…" Raven couldn't bring herself to look away from the rusted chain.

"Happy is gone. And nothing's changed." Wisdom insisted, walking over to Raven. "This is part of the problem. It's poisoning us, and we can't do anything about it. Only you can." Wisdom sighed, looking down at the ground. "It doesn't mean that we can't still be his friend. Maybe one day, we can restore it. But for now…"

Raven's right raised itself against her will. She watched as her hand was enwreathed in shadow, and the middle chain link was covered in a similar substance.

The connection between her and Robin was something she cherished. Ever since it had been formed, she felt like someone could relate to her, like someone could understand her. Like she was close to someone. Raven had never felt close to anyone else, not like she did when she thought about Robin.

The connection had been there for almost two years, growing stronger and stronger with each passing day. It had been a lifeline for Raven, something she could be sure of no matter what.

And with a thought, it was severed.

In the waking world, Raven saw her reflection in the window, and she wondered why it was crying.


	5. Anger

"And that makes the… fifth time… you… lose!" Beastboy exclaimed, pulling off an epic finishing move in the game he and Cyborg were playing. "Looks like you'll be doing my chores for the rest of the month." He said as he sighed, leaning back on the couch and closing his eyes.

Cyborg, utterly humiliated and confused at his five straight losses, said the one indignant thing everyone says when they lose: "You cheated."

Beastboy laughed, holding his hands out to his side. "If you think being a better player than you is cheating, then yes. I totally cheated." He gave a toothy grin when Cyborg's jaw dropped to the floor.

"Dude, there is no way you're a better player than me. I have the frame data _memorized!_ " Cyborg said, tapping the side of his head. "I can beat you skinny green behind any day."

"You haven't today." Beastboy told him. "And besides, you're the one cheating if you have data pulled up while we're playing." Beastboy pointed a finger at Cyborg's face, then pointed the thumb back at himself. "It shows how bad you are if you lose while you're cheating."

"Oh, you did not just say that!" Cyborg grabbed Beastboy's remote and handed it to him. "One more round. Loser does the other's chores for a year!"

"Game on!" Beastboy gave his best battle cry, and once more the common room was filled the sounds of grunting, taunting, buttons being mashed, and loud explosions from the TV as the two faced off in their game again. For about three minutes this continued, until a victor was decided. "A-ha! I'll let Robin know about our little bet." Beastboy said, blowing raspberry's at Cyborg.

"That's it greenbean, show me where you're hiding the cheats!" Cyborg grabbed Beastboy's legs and started ringing him out in the air similar to a towel in an effort to find out how he'd been beaten six times in a row.

"Du-u-ude, let me go! No-o one li-i-ikes a sore lo-ose-e-er!" Beastboy's voice warbled as old phones, toys, empty wallets, a few "misplaced" birdarangs, cards, potato chip bags, and various other gadgets fell from his person. His eyes turned to spirals as Cyborg continued his inspection.

"I know you're hiding something BB, don't lie!" Cyborg scanned all the contents that were falling from Beastboy onto the couch, floor, and coffee table. He frowned when his scans revealed nothing, but he wasn't convinced. It wasn't impossible to suffer one or two losses when playing a game, but six? In a row? Nuh uh. Statistically, for someone with Cyborg's skill, that was impossible. "What have you got? A game genie? Did you hire Gizmo? Or did you go into my room and mess with my systems just to give yourself an edge?"

"Would you two _shut up_?!"

Cyborg and Beastboy froze, turning to look back at the dining table where the voice had originated from. Raven was there, glaring so intensely that the gorgon Medusa would've been scared to look at her. She had stood up from her chair, one hand balled into a fist on the table top. She must've hit it with some amount of force, because her teacup had fallen over and was soaking into her book.

"Um… hey Raven…" Beastboy offered casually, trying to defuse the situation. "How long have you been here?"

"I was reading in here _long_ before you two showed up and started acting like idiots." She barked back. She held up her hand, and a magical aura separated Beastboy and Cyborg, who both let out cries of surprise. "Be quiet, or go somewhere else!"

"Um… there's nowhere else in the tower we can hook up the GameStation to… heh…" Beastboy said meekly.

When Raven's glare deepened, Cyborg gave him the "when she sends us to Valhalla I'm kicking you straight back down to earth" look. Beastboy in return gave him the "what have I said this was a mistake please save me" look. They both looked over to Raven, and for a second her hand twitched as the magic shadow that covered it intensified.

They were saved when Raven's teacup rolled off the table and fell to the floor, shattering and distracting her. "Perfect…" She muttered. She looked higher, to the tabletop, and saw that the spilled tea had soaked several pages and the back cover of her paperback novel. She pinched the bridge of her nose, and no one in the room moved.

Then suddenly, the coffee table rose several feet into the air and came crashing back down. Quite literally, since it was made of glass. Beastboy and Cyborg covered themselves protectively as shards flew everywhere. When everything had quieted down, they slowly turned and looked back up at Raven. Beastboy opened his mouth again, but Raven cut him off.

"Leave me alone. I need to meditate." Then she grabbed her book and stormed out of the room, leaving behind both the broken coffee table and the mess at the dining area for the other two to clean up.

" _What was that about?_ " Beastboy thought to himself. His animal instincts had flared, warning him of danger. Normally, his alpha male tendencies would come out, encouraging him to fight back. He was a hero, after all. But something about her just then had been… terrifying.

"Hey." Cyborg said as he walked to the supply closet and grabbed a broom, while Beastboy grabbed some paper towels from the kitchen. "Doesn't she seem a little… I dunno, angrier than usual these past couple of weeks?"

"Tell me about it!" Beastboy answered. "She avoids us all the time, never talks to us when we try and figure out what's wrong, and then whenever she _finally_ starts coming out of her room it's like she wants to pick a fight over everything!" He carefully picked up the shattered remains of Raven's cup, throwing them into the trashcan.

"I don't know what's going on." Cyborg admitted. "But we need to find some way of helping her."

They both looked at the door with a forlorn expression, wondering if the old Raven they knew would come walking through it.

"Maybe we should just give her some space." Beastboy said. "I don't want to end up shish kebabbed on a flagpole for sneezing too loud." He shuddered.

They were both concerned for her. Raven had been incredibly distant for far too long. Now it seemed whenever they tried to get close, to help in some way, any way they could, it was like sticking their head into a fireplace. There was no way to approach her without getting hurt in some way. But shouldn't a fireplace be a source of comfort and warmth, not pain?

~Hollow~

A few weeks later, Raven was sitting on the roof. Sitting above the roof, floating as she closed her eyes and meditated. Well, _tried_ to meditate is a more accurate description. Something was distracting her; what it was exactly, she couldn't say. There were several things that were preventing her from concentrating: the foul smell from the harbor being carried on the wind, the lack of moisture in the air, the seagulls annoying calls as they circled above, the way the sun seemed unusually bright for no particular and hurt her eyes even when she closed them… maybe it was all these things combined. Maybe it was none of them. The stairwell door creaked open, and Raven sighed. She could hear the other four Titans claiming it to be a nice day out, forming teams for a game of volleyball.

 _Of course._

No one said anything to her. Raven tried ignoring them as long as possible, which was about twenty minutes. For twenty minutes, Raven listened to the taunts, the victory cries, the strategies being shouted between teammates. It wasn't until Beastboy called out to her, warning her of the wayward ball travelling at 90 miles an hour, did she finally react to them.

Without turning around, Raven used her magic to catch the ball and stopped it a few feet shy of her person. She debated ripping it up and telling them to go away, but that would start an argument, and the _last_ thing she wanted to do was talk to anyone right now. A wish, it seemed, that would not be granted. She dismissed her magic and let go of the ball so it fell to the floor, but she heard someone catch it before it could bounce.

"Hey Raven, you wanna come be referee?" Robin asked.

 _Be quiet._

She shook her head. There was something violent coiling inside her, a demon tensing up as it got ready to attack.

Starfire appeared in front of her, looking at her with wide, curious eyes. "Please? Surely you must be bored by yourself." She held up her hand, and Robin threw her the ball. "This sport is most entertaining; I beg you, come volley the ball with us!" She said with a smile, bouncing it on her hand a few times.

 _You took him away._

"No." Raven told her, trying to keep her voice even and neutral. It was getting pretty difficult. She could feel that demon inside her ready to snap. She took a deep breath, relaxing her shoulders.

All the Titans gathered in front of her, giving her a wide smile. "Pleasssee?"

"I said no!" Raven used her magic to send the ball far out to the sea, and everyone looked at her stunned. "What part of that don't you understand?" There was a loud rumbling, and the ground shuddered beneath Raven, sending cracks out in various directions. "Leave. Me. Alone." She warned, planting her feet on the ground and walking away.

She made it down the stairwell and was almost halfway down the hall before she sensed another presence following after her.

"Raven! What's wrong?"

 _You have no right to ask that. Not now._

She debated not responding to Robin. Ignoring him and continuing to her room would be the safest, easier route for the both of them. But a part of her knew that he'd follow. A small part of her _hoped_ he would follow and make sure she was okay, like he'd once done, like he was doing now. But the demon roared at that hopeful part of her and forced her to turn around, to make her realize that he wasn't there for her. He was there for himself, to ease his troubled mind because he could not ease hers.

"I thought I made it clear to leave me be." Raven said, her voice cold and uncaring.

"We're worried about you." He said, taking a step forward. He stopped when she glared at him.

 _He did this._

"Oh really?" She asked.

"Yes, really!" Robin said, frowning and letting a bit of frustration slip into his words. "I don't know what's going on, Raven but I don't want to see you upset like this anymore. I want to help you."

 _He made me cry._

"That's rich, coming from you, of _all_ people." She turned and started walking away, but his grabbed her arm and held her in place, preventing her from moving.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She heard him ask.

 _After everything we've been through, you left me to cry on the floor of my room like some pathetic weakling who couldn't live without you._

Raven turned around punched him the jaw, knocking him to the ground. He looked up at her in total shock, hand coming up to cover the spot she'd hit. "It means _you_ should know why I'm upset, without having to ask! You should know what's bothering me because it should be bothering you, too!" She looked down at him, at the confusion written on his face as plain as day, and the sudden realization left her feeling cold. "Oh Azar. You have no idea, do you?" She asked quietly, almost to the point where he didn't hear it.

 _He doesn't know that the bond between us is gone._

Robin watched as her eyes widened, and for a second he thought he could see sorrow or guilt in them. But that thought left his head when she spoke up again. "No, I suppose not." She sneered down at him, turning and walking away. Just before she disappeared around the corner, he heard her mutter, "How could you when you never cared?"

Robin was too stunned to go after her. It was several moments before he picked himself up off the floor and went to the kitchen to grab an ice pack.

~Hollow~

Starfire had flow out over the sea and searched for the volleyball, but it was long gone. The three Titans on the roof headed inside after Robin didn't return for a few minutes. So much for their plan to cheer Raven up. Nothing had backfired quite _that_ badly in some time. In hindsight, maybe including her in a game of volleyball wasn't the best solution. Maybe they should've left her alone, like she'd been saying for so long.

Defeated, they went into the common room, glad to be in the air conditioning once more. It was awful outside.

"Robin? What is the matter?" Starfire asked.

Beastboy and Cyborg turned to him, and they saw that Robin was in the kitchen holding an ice pack to his jawline.

"It's nothing, Star."

"It doesn't look like nothing." Cyborg said. He walked over and grabbed the ice pack out of his hand, ignoring Robin's protests. He didn't need to scan him to see the bruise that was forming. "She hit you?"

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?" Beastboy and Starfire cried out at the same time.

"..." Robin shook his head, picking up the ice pack again. "I don't know what happened." He admitted, looking down at the ground. "I was trying to help her, and she just…" Robin scowled. "Whatever. It was her choice. If she doesn't want help, she won't get any." He turned around and rested his elbows on the counter, with his back facing towards the others. He rested the ice pack against his flesh, grateful for the cooling sensation. Whether he admitted it or not, Raven had one hell of a right hook.

There was a sudden gust of wind, and Beastboy and Cyborg called out, "Starfire!" Robin turned around to see her flying out of the common room, throwing the ice pack on the counter as he ran beside the others. They caught up to her when she stopped outside of Raven's bedroom. Everyone had a sinking feeling when they that Starfire's eyes were completely green.

"Raven!" Starfire forced the door open, and they could see Raven staring out her window from in the hallway. "Apologize, _now!_ " No one had ever seen Starfire this angry before, but Raven was angry too.

"And if I don't?" She asked casually, not looking over to the others. "What will you do? Attack me?" If it had been any darker they wouldn't have seen Raven smirk, as though she wanted to deliberately provoke Starfire.

Starfire growled and levitated into the air, and if they had been any slower the resulting battle might've brought down Titans Tower. Cyborg just barely managed to wrap his arms around her waist, and Beastboy turned into a squid, wrapping two tentacles around her legs and using the others to latch onto the wall and the roof. Robin jumped in front of her, placing both of his hands on her shoulders and pushing her back.

"Starfire!" He grunted, bracing his legs as he tried to stop her from attacking Raven. "This isn't going to help!" He tried reasoning with her. He looked into her eyes, and her gaze softened. "Stop this." He asked.

Slowly, she relaxed and settled back onto the ground. Everyone let go and exhaled, relieved that she'd come to her senses. Starfire gave one last look at Raven, mixed with confusion, anger, and empathy, before turning around and leaving. Robin followed after her. Beastboy looked between Raven and the other two, then left as well.

"Raven…" Cyborg said. He didn't know what he wanted to say. He didn't know if there was anything he could say. "I'll be back in a moment to fix your door." He eventually settled on, rubbing the back of his head, walking away to get his tools.

When he came back, Raven hadn't moved. But the look on her face now seemed almost… pensive.

~Hollow~

Once Cyborg had left, Raven sat down on her bed and crossed her legs beneath her, using her powers to levitate her mirror to her hand. She looked into it, focused on it, blinked once… and Nevermore surrounded her.

Her emotions were gathered around her, and Raven approached Anger. "What have you done?" She asked, her voice threatening.

"What _you_ were too scared to do." Bravery responded, causing Raven to turn around. "He deserved it. So would Starfire, if the others hadn't stopped her."

"You made me attack my friends!" Raven cried out. "It doesn't matter how much I hate what's happened, that's a low I should've never stooped to."

"It all comes full circle." Anger said. "They did this to you. They were the ones who hurt you. Why are you so hesitant to hurt them back?"

"Because they're my friends." Raven said. "And I will _never_ do something like this again."

Anger laughed, and Bravery smirked as it came to stand beside it. "How do you plan on accomplishing this?"

"Simple." Raven held up a hand, and the two emotions in front of her frowned.

"Ooooh, so you'll send us away like Happy?" Bravery rolled her eyes.

"Haven't you learned anything?" Raven turned her head to the left, where Wisdom was approaching. "Locking us away won't change what's going on outside." Wisdom sighed, holding up a hand. "No matter what, Robin will love Starfire. Sealing us away isn't going to change that."

"Maybe not." Raven agreed. "But at the very least, I can face the others without fear of blowing away furniture or beating up the people who care about me." She floated into the air, and all the different facets of her personality appeared beneath her. "I'm sick of feeling depressed. I'm sick of being angry, and being in love. I'm sick of feeling!" Raven said, holding her hands out to the side, where the shadows started arcing out to the ground. "All of you are going away, until I'm ready to feel again."

The shadows around her hands fell to the ground, and the pieces of her personality cried out as they started getting pulled into the shadows, into the dark vortex that were so intrinsically linked to her soul.

"You will regret this!" Anger cried out, trying to fly up to meet Raven. The shadows held it down, and Raven looked down at it with apathy.

"Stop this!" Wisdom cried out. "If you do this, you may never recover!"

Raven ignored them. She focused all her power on sealing the emotions away, so she could be free of the burden they carried. "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" She could hear the emotions screaming beneath her, but they all faded away and the darkness took her as well.

~Hollow~

Raven wearily opened her eyes, looking up at the ceiling. It was dark out. She must've fallen asleep. Yes, that explained the sudden time jump.

But what was she doing before she fell asleep?

She remembered something about seagulls… no, the others were playing a game on the roof… and what had she been doing?

Raven sat up, and a clinking sound brought her attention to the bed.

Her mirror lay shattered, and the glass had fallen out of it. Raven carefully picked up a shard, turning it over in her hand. Slowly, she got out of bed and looked at all the fragments that were on her mattress.

Oh, that's right. She'd gotten into a fight with Robin. And then Starfire had come along…

Raven frowned. Something was still missing. She must've gone to Nevermore to find out why her emotions had caused her to attack Robin and come within a hair's breadth of fighting Starfire.

" _Odd,_ " She thought, " _Because I feel fine now."_

She remembered why she'd attacked Robin. But she didn't feel that same hurt right now.

No, she didn't feel anything at all. There were no more emotions inside of her, nothing to feel _with_. She was empty.


	6. A Midnight Meeting

The Titans stood overlooking the defeated form of Mumbo Jumbo, his wand broken and appearance changed back to that of an old man. The battle had been long, but in the end the Titans were victorious once more. Robin put him in handcuffs and pulled him so he was sitting down, looking dejected as he was caught once again. The sound of police sirens grew closer and closer, until eventually the police force for supervillains appeared. They threw him in the back of the van, closing the doors and driving away.

"Thanks once again, Titans. How he manages to get his equipment back all the time, we'll never know." One of the police officers said, his voice filtered and robotic sounding due to his mask. "Now if you'll excuse us, we have his mess to clean up." The officer motioned behind the five teens, and the Titans turned to look down the road.

Mumbo's chase had (of course) left buildings with holes punched through them, ATM, newspaper stands, street signs, and various other objects in states of disrepair or flat out broken. Some of the collateral damage had been the Titans own doing; Cyborg's sonic cannon had left a burn trail along the ground, and his and Starfire's attacks had left small craters wherever they impacted. Beastboy and Robin had left holes and scratch marks along walls, and Robin's non-explosive birdarangs were left lodged into telephone poles and scattered along the ground.

"Don't worry about it; Raven will take care of everything." Robin said. "With her powers, it'll only take a few hours. Besides, if we'd acted a little faster there wouldn't so much to deal with." The officer nodded at Robin, then turned around and started making sure to keep civilians away from the group of heroes. "Alright, we'll see you later." Robin walked away, and the rest of the Titans followed him. A few seconds later, the T-Car could be heard revving up and heading back to the tower.

In retrospect, Raven had been too blinded by her anger to really consider the consequences of her actions.

A few days after she'd lashed it in anger, the Titans had a meeting to discuss what should be done. They were in agreement; Raven was becoming far too difficult to live alongside. She was in control enough during battles (this battle with Mumbo had proved that beyond a doubt), but when they returned home she was either extremely distant or upset with everyone over the smallest of things. They were also in agreement that she wouldn't allow help from anyone. Everyone had approached her several times, but she was closing herself off from the others. Attacking one friend and nearly coming into a fight with another was the final straw.

Starfire had suggested they should stop trying to help and go straight to punishment. She was understandably angry, and managed to convince the others of her line of thought. However, they were uncertain what kind of punishment should be appropriate for her. Starfire and the others were upset, but they didn't want to kick her out of Titans tower. Everyone knew she had nowhere else to go.

Robin had convinced the rest of the team of an appropriate punishment: If she was angry, she could take that energy and do something productive with it. And if she wanted to be alone, all the better. Raven had been saddled with all the chores around Titans tower; she'd also been sent out on patrol during the day and monitoring the security of Jump City at night. It came as no surprise to anyone that Robin would make her clean up after the villains when they were done fighting, too.

After being called in two months ago to meet them and informing of her of what to expect, Raven had simply nodded and started to work with a detached gaze. The others hadn't caught on, assuming her reaction to be the carefully controlled apathy she'd mastered over the years. But Robin had noticed the lack of light in her eyes, devoid of all emotion, leaving the normally brilliant amethyst lifeless and dull.

It was why he turned around to look at her when the Titans were heading to the car. She was floating up in the air, hands raised as she repaired the damage done during the battle. On the outset, she was calm, cool, and collected, just like usual. But Robin saw the… the weakness of her movements, the almost-laziness in the way she used her powers. She could clean up the battle ruins and arrive at the tower just a few minutes after they did. But it was almost like she didn't care. Not in a depressed sort of way; she wasn't _sad_. No, it was more like the acceptance of the inevitabile she'd carried with her before Trigon; like there was nothing she could do and she just accepted what came her way.

Robin got in the passenger seat and kept his eye on Raven in the rearview mirror as Cyborg took them back home.

~Hollow~

Raven sighed as she finished the last of her work. The buildings had been fixed to their original state; not even a crack remained. Raven gave her official statement of the events to the police officer, then headed home, ignoring the crowd as she flew back to the Tower. They called out to her for an autograph or a picture, but she was already out of earshot.

The sun was starting to set by the time she got home. She landed on the roof, where Robin was waiting for her. She took her hood down and walked up to him. "Hey, Cyborg's cooking hamburgers tonight; you want to eat with us?" He asked, cape flapping lightly in the breeze of the setting sun.

Raven shook her head. "I'll be fine. I want to shower and nap before I go on monitor duty tonight." It looked like he wanted to say something, but decided against it. The two headed to the stairwell and down the hallway.

When they reached the fork in the hallway, where Robin would go to the common room and Raven would head to the bathroom, Robin got her attention again. "I'll put your plate in the fridge, okay?"

She nodded, and started towards her room to grab fresh clothes before walking to the bathroom. Raven undressed, turning on the water and washing all the grime and blood from their battle with Mumbo down the drain. She closed her eyes, leaning against the wall and gripping her arm with her hand. The dull impact of water against her body barely registered as she spaced out, closing her eyes and unwinding after the long battle.

The door burst open, and someone started to spit in the sink. "Friend, I am sorry to burst in on you, but Beastboy tricked me into eating his tofu!" Starfire cried out. "I must commence with the brushing of the teeth!"

There was no way of seeing through the shower curtain, so Raven said, "Go ahead." She heard Starfire grab her toothbrush and started to clean the nasty taste of Beastboy's tofu from her mouth. It amused Raven to know that Starfire ate really exotic alien food that normal people couldn't handle, but still cringed upon seeing and smelling tofu. Go figure.

Starfire left the bathroom a minute later, and Raven turned off the water and dried herself, putting on a clean pair of pajamas and walking to her room. She didn't want to nap in the leotard, and so decided to put on her regular uniform upon waking. She grabbed her alarm clock and set it for eleven p.m., setting it on her bedside table.

She placed it down, but didn't let go it immediately. Her attention was drawn to the framed photo of her and Robin beside her hand. Raven grabbed it and looked it over. She hadn't understood why he'd wanted to take a picture with her. A photo served no purpose; at least that's what she'd said to him when he asked her to put her book down.

" _It'll make for a good memory."_

That's what Robin had said. She hadn't understood at the time, but she did now. Looking at the photo reminded her of the peaceful day it had been, of the stupid grin on his face as he tried to convince her to pose. Yes, she remembered that day fondly and clearly. Beastboy didn't do anything to aggravate her, Cyborg made a fantastic lunch, Starfire hadn't interrupted her meditation, and no villains had attacked either. It was a mundane day where nothing had been accomplished, but nothing had gone wrong either.

Of course, Robin had been there too. After he'd taken the photo, he turned on the TV and put the volume on low, crossing his arms and closing his eyes. She wondered why he didn't just nap in his room, but the feeling of warmth beside her as she read left Raven feeling serene and peaceful as she returned to her book. A few days later, he'd brought the photo to her and told her to she could do what she wanted with it. Raven decided to frame it; after all, that's what one is supposed to do.

Robin had been right. The photo _had_ made for a good memory.

She set it back down beside the alarm clock, then rested her head against her pillow. It didn't take long for her to fall asleep as a warmth blossomed in her chest.

~Hollow~

A few hours later, Raven's alarm went off and woke her up. She sat and up and turned it off, stretching her arms over her head and standing. Putting on the cloak and leotard, she headed to the common room to heat up her leftovers. Even microwaved, Cyborg's cooking was fantastic. She devoured her dinner in just a few minutes, preparing a pot of tea before she headed down to the monitor room.

Monitor duty was very simple. As the name implied, one of the Titans would use Jump City's massive camera network to keep an eye any criminals that were tempted to try anything at night. When the Titans had been officially registered as heroes of the city, they went on a lot of daytime patrols and thus, the crooks and supervillains that normally acted during the day went to work during the graveyard shift instead. Since the Titans lived on an island, most bad guys figured that if they were fast enough, they'd be able to get away with their crime before the Titans showed up in the city. It happened more than anyone would care to admit.

To deal with their poor response time, Jump City had upgraded its police force with better equipment and technology, courtesy of Cyborg working with STAR Labs and Wayne Enterprises. Now, if villains attacked, whoever was on monitor duty would send an alert to the authorities. The police could get to the scene of the crime much quicker than they could, and if they weren't able to stop the bad guys, they could delay them enough for the Titans to show up and take it from there.

Normally, the duty would fall to a different Titan each night. However, Raven found herself stuck with it every night after she'd succumbed to her anger. There could be worse punishments besides being forced to sit in a chair and watch monitors all night. It was quiet and peaceful. Raven often enjoyed monitor duty simply for the solitude it provided. The quiet hum of computers and the comfortable couch were often something she looked forward too. It was boring, but it was peaceful.

Raven made her way to the elevator and down to the monitor room. She set her cup of tea down on the desk in front of her, then sat on the couch and started… monitoring. The cameras were often on building corners: one overlooking the main street, one pointed down the alley, one pointed up at the rooftops, and another pointed straight down to cover the blind spot. Jump City was massive, but the camera system was also very good: it's facial recognition software was top notch, and scanners similar to the one's Cyborg used were implemented to identify drugs or weapons.

The only sounds were the occasional keyboard click as camera's were cycled through. That, and the occasional sip from the tea cup. The clock read midnight, and only four hours of her duty remained. Raven yawned, still tired from her nap, though not out of exhaustion. If there was one thing she didn't like about monitor duty, it was how it messed with her sleep schedule.

The door swished open, and Raven turned around. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep." Robin said. "So I decided to come down here and hang out."

Raven turned back to her screens. "Well, you'll fall asleep pretty quickly doing this. Nothing's happened at all so far."

"That's good. Means it's peaceful." Robin said, walking over and sitting beside her. "Hopefully, Mumbo won't interrupt that peace like he did earlier today."

"I'm sure he'll be back soon enough. We left him frozen and on the other side of the world, but that didn't stop him from coming back."

Robin laughed, and Raven allowed a smirk to grace her features.

"Honestly, how does that even happen?" Robin asked.

"I'm sure if we'd assigned someone to make sure they stayed frozen, we wouldn't be having this conversation. It was a fools mistake to leave them unguarded in the first place." Raven said.

Robin stretched his legs up and placed them on the desk in front of them, leaning back in his chair and putting his hands behind his head. "True. But we all assumed that the ice was, you know…"

"Permanent?"

"Yep." He chuckled. "But lo and behold, ice melts." He turned to face her. "Who would've thought?"

Raven giggled, and Robin smiled. He turned back to the monitors. There was a pause, but then he said, "It's nice to hear you laugh."

In his peripheral vision, he saw Raven tense.

Robin pursed his lips together. The situation suddenly seemed very delicate. "Just like old times, you know? We always used to do this together." Raven didn't respond, and he continued. "One of us would be up, and somehow or another we'd always find each other. Down here or up in the common room or even on the roof; we'd always meet up late at night." He sighed. "Those days seem so long ago…" Though he was looking at the monitor, his gaze was focused somewhere far beyond them. "Before you became so distant." He finished quietly, turning to look over at Raven once more.

She was crying.

Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks, along her soft jawline and falling silently from her chin. "Raven!" Robin exclaimed, reaching forward and gently cupping her cheek, brushing the tears from her eyes with his thumbs. "What's wrong?" He asked, shifting so he was facing more towards her.

Her eyes widened at his touch. She slowly reached up, grabbing his gloved hand in her own. How long had it been since she'd felt his warmth? "I'm sorry." Raven said, voice cracking. "I didn't mean to…"

Robin instinctively pulled her into a hug, and she buried her head into his chest.

"I didn't mean to become so distant. I didn't want to hurt you." Raven said, wrapping her arms around him. She clutched at his uniform, fisting the material as she tried to get closer to that warmth she'd long forgotten. Even now, after locking all her emotions away and barely talking to him for months on end, he could still make her _feel_ so much, and at the same time soothe her so easily. "I'm _sorry_."

"It's okay, Raven. I forgive you." Robin murmured, rubbing comforting circles into her back as she continued to cry quietly. This was the second time he'd ever hugged her. She might've tried to hide it, hide herself, behind a facade of apathy and darkness to scare others away, but she was still human, and she wasn't as strong as others believed her to be. Now that he was so physically close to her, he realized just how fragile she really was.

"I'm sorry." Raven muttered again. Her breathing came in quick, light gasps, and she struggled to make it even.

"I forgive you. I forgive you." He whispered. He ran his fingers through her hair and wrapped his arm around the small of her back, pulling her closer to him. Robin wanted to ask what had caused the distance between them to form, but right now he knew that that wasn't important. What was important was the realization that Raven herself hated that chasm between them almost as much as he did, and for the first time in a long time they were coming closer again.

Robin comforted her for a long time. Her breathing had evened out and she relaxed slowly into his embrace, all the tension gone from her body.

Raven hadn't realized how cold she'd felt all these months away from him. It wasn't merely a matter of temperature; Robin's warmth soothed her very soul, calming her down until she was completely at ease in a way meditation could never hope to accomplish. His embrace was gentle, as though he were afraid she might break if he held her too tightly. Raven shifted herself to rest more comfortably against his chest, turning her head slightly and adjusting her arms around his torso. She couldn't stop the content sigh from escaping as she remembered how much she loved him.

Even after everything, she _still_ loved him. Raven still yearned for these moments, the quiet moments in the middle of the night or away from teammates just between them. And now that such a moment existed, she forgot about everything; about him being with Starfire, about her fight with Robin, her depression… all of it faded as she leaned further into his embrace.

Just for a moment, she was with Robin again.


	7. Promise

Nothing lasts forever, and eventually Raven pulled away from Robin.

He looked at her, deep in thought. Raven's natural empath abilities could let her sense his worry and confusion. She could tell he wanted to talk to her, but Raven wasn't sure when she should tell him what had caused her to become so distant. In fact, she wondered if she should ever tell him at all. What would happen then? Would every encounter between them be filled with awkward tension as the truth was revealed? Robin might not seek her company the way he did tonight if he knew how she felt about him. She loved him, had never stopped loving him despite her best efforts, but Robin didn't love her. At least not in the way she wanted him to love her.

Raven looked away from him, closing her eyes. The room fell silent save for their quiet breathing and the hum of computers, and a weighted tension filled the air. Raven felt him touch her shoulder, and she turned back to look at him.

"Raven… what's going on?" He asked earnestly, worry evident in his voice. He took his hand away from her shoulder, putting on his knee.

She sighed, looking at his mask. "I can't… I can't tell you." She muttered, looking away, back at the computer monitors.

"Why not?" He asked. He shifted forward so he was in her vision, but she didn't look at him.

"I don't know how." She said quietly after a moment, looking down at the ground. How was she supposed to tell him how she was feeling, after everything that he'd done for her and after everything that they'd been through? How was Raven supposed to tell him how she loved him, cherished him, only for him to simply turn his back her? She _could_ tell him. She _could_ tell him that at some point along the line she had fallen for him, and that she'd continued falling and that… for awhile, she thought Robin had loved her back. She _could_ tell him that she was hurt and felt betrayed by his dating Starfire and that was the reason she'd distanced herself from him. She could tell him that even after everything, she _still_ loved him.

But she was afraid. She was afraid of losing him as a friend. They couldn't be anything more than friends, no matter what Raven wanted or how she felt. If she told him, things would change between them. And the idea of that - of Robin being uncomfortable because of her and him slowly distancing himself until there was nothing between them - scared Raven in a way that nothing else could or ever would.

Robin opened his mouth to speak, but before the words could get out, the door swished open and they both turned around. "Raven, I cannot find-" Starfire said as she walked in, rubbing one eye sleepily. "Oh!" She seemed to be awake when she lay eyes on him. "Robin, will you be coming back to bed soon?"

Robin looked between Starfire and Raven. He leaned forward, lowering his voice so only Raven could hear him. "If you figure it out, will you tell me?"

Raven swallowed, and for a second Robin saw fear flash through her eyes. Before he could say anything, she nodded once. "One day." She murmured so quietly that he almost didn't hear it.

Robin stood. "Alright." He offered his hand, and she took. He pulled Raven up so she was standing. "Then let's go to bed; it's late. I'm sure the police will let us know if anything goes down." They walked out of the room, the door swishing closed behind them. None of them said anything as they went up in the elevator and walked through the halls to their bedrooms. They stopped in front of Raven's door first, and Robin touched her shoulder so she was looking at him. "Goodnight, Raven."

She turned to face him and Starfire, giving a slight nod. "Goodnight, you two."

Starfire returned her wishes, and Raven walked into her room, setting her cloak off to the side as she fell in bed. She didn't set her alarm, ignoring it completely as she pulled the covers over herself and laid on her side, closing her eyes.

When she fell asleep, she dreamed.

~Hollow~

Raven was standing in front of the door to a log cabin. It was occupied, given that the lights were on inside. Looking around, she could see that it was foggy out, so much so to the point she couldn't see the path more than five feet beyond her. Raven turned back to the door and knocked on twice. A moment later, the door swung open and Robin appeared. "Hey, Raven!" He greeted cheerily. "You're just in time for dinner; come on in!" He stood to the side, and Raven walked through.

The inside of the cabin was quite cozy; a fire crackled in the fireplace, pictures were hanging on the walls (various memories from Raven's life), and the smell of a delicious home cooked dinner wafted through the air.

"Friend Raven!" Starfire greeted as she flew over, clasping her hands together. "I am so delighted you could join us!" Starfire glided backwards slowly, and Raven saw that a table had been set for them. Beastboy and Cyborg were already there, eating to their hearts content. "Come sit down!"

Raven walked forward, and Robin pulled out a chair for her. She took a couple of steps forward, but stopped when the chair burst into flames. Her eyes widened, but no one else reacted. She watched it for a few seconds, before shaking her head. "I'll just eat standing up." She told the others.

"It's rude to eat while standing, Raven." Robin said in a teasing voice. "Come on, sit down!" He motioned for her to sit, seemingly unfazed when the fire licked at his hands.

Raven shook her head again. "I can't. I'll get hurt." Couldn't they see that the chair was burning?

The others stopped what they were doing and glanced at one another before turning to look back at her. The room fell quiet, and Raven felt uneasy.

"If you do not wish to eat with us, then you must go." Starfire said, holding up a fork and pointing behind Raven.

Raven turned and looked back at the open front door. "I can't go." She turned back around. "I'll get lost." As she looked out the door, Raven felt afraid. The fog hadn't seemed menacing before she walked in, but now Raven could make out faces with four eyes, staring her down from outside.

"Then sit down with us." Robin said. "If you don't want to go, come eat. The food will get cold." He took the spot beside Starfire. Everyone resumed eating, forks clinking against ceramic as they chowed down. "Raven? Don't you want to eat?" He asked.

Raven looked at the chair apprehensively. Despite the fire, it seemed undamaged. She walked up to it, looking over it. The others were all staring at her again, and she looked down at the chair. The heat rolling off it was enough to make her sweat.

Slowly, she sat down.

Raven screamed in pain as the fire consumed her, burning her alive. "Help me!" She couldn't stand up, no matter how hard she tried. "Please, help me!" She cried out again.

"You were the one who sat down, Raven." Robin said simply, taking a bite off his fork. "No one forced you to." The others ignored her and continued eating, despite her screams.

Slowly, everything faded to black.

~Hollow~

A/N

So kind of a short chapter, but this was originally the end of the last one. But everyone was like #letravenbehappy2016 so I cut it into two pieces. It gave me some time to refine the dream sequence, and I'm pretty happy with the way it turned out. I like writing for this story.

That makes me a bad person lol


	8. Fortune Cookie

A/N

So a lot of the stories I write are generally inspired when I listen to music. The music for this chapter was "Hohoemi No Kage" from the "Durarara!" OST.

Also, if you like anime/want something to watch, I recommend Durarara! It's got the seal of approval from everyone's favourite scumbag writer.

~Hollow~

Two months had passed, and things seemed to have returned to normal. Raven was coming out of her room again, and Starfire had long since forgiven her for the fight now that she was getting along with Robin. Raven seemed to be back to her old self. She told Beastboy that his jokes still weren't funny, played chess with Cyborg and helped him work on the T-Car from time to time, went with the Titans to the park… the only thing they found weird was the fact that Raven adamantly refused to sit down in a chair anymore. But if that was the price they had to pay to have their friend back, the other Titans would gladly eat at the tables while she floated a few feet away.

Today was a day like most others. Breakfast had been consumed, everyone relaxed until afternoon training, and when that had been completed, everyone had gone back up to the common and began relaxing. Beastboy, Cyborg, and Robin played games while Starfire played with Silkie and Raven read in the back of the room. She listened to the boys as they taunted and yelled, cheering and laughing at the shenanigans in their video game. Occasionally, she looked up at the TV, trying to figure out what so exciting. Raven had _never_ understood the appeal of games; the few times the others had convinced her to play she walked away not wanting for more.

The boys of course would tell her that it was the satisfaction of prevailing against the odds on the highest difficulty that they liked so much about playing the games. It was fun to practice hard moves and pull them off successfully in the game, just like practicing in the training room and winning in a fight in the real world would. They'd never once told her that games could have stories just as entertaining as her books (mostly because they ignored the story in favour of the gameplay), which if they had they might've been able to convince her of their worth.

And of course, on any given "normal" day the alarm would go off and the Titans would head into the city to find and stop the super villain or villains causing mayhem (one would think that at some point, they would just give up after being defeated so many times, but alas this would never be the case). They all stopped what they were doing and headed in different directions: Robin and Cyborg to the garage to get their vehicles, Beastboy along the ground in the form of a cheetah, and Raven and Starfire flew in the air.

"Titans, Control Freak is wreaking havoc in the entertainment district!" Robin informed them, and everyone adjusted course to head slightly northeast. "When we find him, we need to get him to a different area of the city. He'll bring all the comic book and movie characters to life to make our lives as difficult as possible."

"The financial district would be a good idea." Raven said. "Adult life doesn't work well with couch potatoes." Raven told him.

"Good idea." Robin replied. "He won't be able to bring any fictional creatures to life if he's surrounded by accounting info." He began laying out a plan, telling the others what part to play in order to bring Control Freak down. They sped through the city, and they could see smoke rising from a few buildings. Robin jumped off his R-Cycle, flipping in the air and landing on his feet.

"Greetings, Titans! It is I, your old nemesis!" Control Freak bowed at the waist, looking up with a grin. "I'd love to stay and chat, but it was just announced that _Danger Team 5_ was going to be cancelled without any resolution to the season 5 ending, so now I'm getting my revenge!" He lifted his remote and clicked a button.

"They cancelled Danger Team 5?!" Beastboy cried out in despair.

"You broke out of prison to get a TV show back on the air?" Raven asked rhetorically.

Two kinds of Titans. Lightning arced from Control Freaks remote, bringing monsters to life around him. "The only thing getting cancelled are your plans today. Titans, go!" Robin ran forward. He and Raven would deal with Control Freak, while Cyborg, Beastboy, and Starfire would work together to keep the animated monsters from causing too much destruction.

Robin and Raven kept their foe from summoning any more monsters with precise use of magic and birdarang throws. As expected, Control Freak retreated down the street, completely unaware of the other three Titans. "Starfire, go!" Cyborg yelled. He'd just shredded the monster he was fighting and shot Starfire's monster with his sonic cannon, allowing her to circle around the buildings and shoot Starbolts at Control Freak. He jumped in surprise and started heading south, towards the financial district.

"Azarath Metrion Zinthos!" Raven shouted, lifting streetlights out of the ground and throwing them like javelins at Control Freak. He shouted and jumped into a nearby convertible, using his remote to turn it on and sped away. Cyborg and Beastboy rejoined the others, their monsters defeated. Robin used his communicator to bring his R-Cycle to him on auto-pilot.

"Titans, after him!" He shouted, and everyone gave chase. Beastboy turned into a horse and let Cyborg hop on his back, and the two girls took to the air once more.

Control Freak wasn't out of tricks yet, it seemed. He pointed his remote at the car and turned the volume up, which with his reality bending tech, meant that the car suddenly acted as if it had taken steroids. It grew in size and sped up, but that wasn't the only thing that happened. The trunk opened and revealed an array of missiles. With a click of the button, they flew at the Titans.

Starfire and Cyborg started shooting back, destroying them before they could reach the Titans or destroy any nearby buildings. There was a huge cloud of smoke, and the Titans sped through it… only to see a second barrage flying at them. They were too close to get out of the way. Raven's quick thinking saved them from being blown away. She raised her hands and generated a sphere that surrounded the missiles, and they exploded harmlessly inside.

The concentration required to keep the collateral damage at zero was immense, and Raven felt like her head started to split in two from the focus. She groaned in pain as the headache caused lines to appear in her vision, and she let go of her magic, falling to the ground.

"Raven!"

She registered a dull impact against her body, and suddenly she was being carried sideways. Someone had caught her out of the air before she could hit the pavement. The pain faded quickly, it always did if she overexerted her magic. There would be a dull ache for a few hours, but it was nothing she couldn't deal with. Raven looked up, and saw Robin staring back down at her.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She nodded, standing. He helped her up and got back on his bike. "Alright, the others are still on Control Freak's tail. Let's go!" He took off, and she followed him in the air. They caught up a few moments later, where Control Freak was trying his hardest to keep up the fight. At some point, his stolen car had been destroyed on the edge of the entertainment district.

Try as he might, all he could conjure were animated newspaper stands. Control Freak was hit by a shadow, pinning him against the ground, and his remote flew into the air. A birdarang lodged itself into it a moment later and exploded. Control Freak looked stunned, then gave a sheepish smile as the Titans surrounded him.

~Hollow~

Raven lay in bed after the Titans had returned home, trying to quell the throbbing pain in her head from her overexertion of magic. She'd sat in the passenger seat with Cyborg on the ride home, leaning the chair back and resting quietly as the T-Car rumbled along, and when she got home she headed to her room and got in bed.

She could her hear heart pounding in her eardrums, and her face felt insanely hot. Her ears were ringing. Usually, a healing spell would fix most wounds, but this ailment could not be healed by magic since it was caused by magic. She'd tried in the past, but her efforts were for naught. Luckily, Raven had found the headache would only last for a few hours, so as long she rested she'd be back to normal in no time.

There was a knock at her door. Groaning, Raven sat up and got out of bed. She held a hand to her head as her footsteps reverberated through her body. The door opened, and she saw Robin standing in the hall. "Hey." He said quietly. "I brought you some tea." He had a cup and saucer in his hands.

"Why?" She asked. Raven didn't recall asking for any on the way home.

"Because you got hurt." He told her. "It hasn't happened in a while, but I could tell Control Freak's missiles really strained you. I remember you used to ask me to bring you tea back then, because it helped with your headaches." He told her.

She reached out and took the cup from him. _"It really has been a while… I can't believe Robin remembered something like that._ " Raven thought, gently blowing on her tea before taking a sip. She offered a small smile and a word of thanks before going back into her room, setting the cup on her nightstand.

~Hollow~

A few hours later, Raven emerged from her room with the empty cup of tea. She was feeling much better, enough to go out and get some dinner. It was getting late; in a few hours, the sun would set. She emerged into the common room, where all the others were. The TV was on, playing the last episode of _Danger Team 5_ while Beastboy sat sniffling in front of the coffee table.

When they heard the doors open, Robin and Cyborg looked back. "Hey Raven. You feeling better?" Robin asked, resting an arm on the back of the couch.

"Much." She nodded. Her stomach growled, and she asked, "Are we going to be ordering in dinner soon?"

Robin shrugged. "Star and I are going to go out, so ask these two."

Raven used her magic to turn off the TV, causing Beastboy to turn around. "Are either of you two hungry?" She asked, motioning between him and Cyborg. She ignored the fact the fact that Robin would be going out with Starfire. It was bad enough to have _one_ headache today.

Cyborg and Beastboy looked at each other, then back to Raven. They nodded, and Raven picked up the phone to order in chinese food. Once she'd finished, she walked over to the couch and rested her arms on the back. Cyborg turned the TV back on. "Where are you two going to go?" Cyborg asked, looking at Robin and Starfire.

The night Robin had come to meet her in the monitor room, Raven's emotions had partially come back. When she went to Nevermore, the emotions could be heard whispering on the wind, but they couldn't manifest in front of her. She hadn't freed them fully yet, out of fear that she'd go back down the spiral of depression she'd first fell through when Robin and Starfire began dating.

"There's this new Italian place that invited us to their grand opening on 8th Avenue." Robin explained. "So we accepted the invitation."

"Truthfully, I like Italian food." Starfire said. "With enough sauce, it resembles some of the food of my home world."

"So… enough to drown a fully grown man?" Cyborg asked, and the others laughed.

"You'll know if I don't return home." Robin told them, and everyone laughed again. They continued watching TV until the food Raven had ordered had been delivered. Cyborg went down and got it, bringing it back up and handing it to everyone. They chowed down, and the final episode of Beastboy's show went off the air.

He fell over in despair, turning into a dog and whimpering. "Relax, BB." Cyborg said.

"I'm sure that it'll get brought back on the air." Robin said. "It's stupidly popular."

"Emphasis on stupid." Raven muttered.

"You wouldn't know because you don't watch it, Raven!" Beastboy sat up and pointed a finger at her. "All the adventures, the character development…" He trailed off, and his voice cracked. "Taken away for no reason…"

"Perhaps we should leave before things get serious." Starfire whispered to Robin.

"Good idea." Robin ninja'd his way out of the room, Starfire following his lead.

"I can't believe they're going to leave us here with him." Cyborg said, motioning down to Beastboy (who was currently starting the series over from season 1 and watching it again).

"I can't believe you're the one who has to deal with him." Raven said sarcastically. "Because I'm going back to my room." Raven picked up her chinese food and turned around before Cyborg could say anything.

When she got back to her room, she leaned against the headboard and ate silently, looking out the window. Her room's window was facing east, so she couldn't see the sun sinking below the horizon. However, the fading orange sky and all the buildings turning their lights on let her know that it was getting later. It was getting close to winter, and the daylight was fading earlier and earlier.

When she finished eating, Raven grabbed her fortune cookie and split it apart, looking at the piece of paper inside.

 _Take a well earned vacation from all your woes._

She turned it over and looked at the numbers printed on the back. Putting the paper on the nightstand, she turned to face her window, gazing silently at the skyline of Jump City as the sky turned from orange to black.

Raven found herself thinking about what Robin and Starfire were doing. Whether they were enjoying themselves, enjoying the dinner they'd gone to. She thought about what they might talk about, what they might reveal about themselves to each other. Then she shook her head. _"This isn't helping."_ She sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the headboard. _"I wish I could just forget about all this."_ Deep down inside, she knew that wasn't possible.

Living with the person she had unrequited feelings for wouldn't be easy. It might've been easier if Robin had simply ignored her. It might have hurt more, but he still sought out her company at night when he couldn't sleep, looked after during battles and took care of her afterwards. Even if he wasn't doing it on purpose, he was still making her feel cared for and appreciated, stoking the fire within her.

No, she'd always feel this way for Robin because Robin didn't hate her. And if he didn't, then he'd always show her compassion and care when she needed it most, would always forgive her for her mistakes and treat her kindly, and that was what had caused her to fall for him in the first place. At some point, Raven's feelings of appreciation for everything Robin did had turned to love for the way he treated her.

And for so long, she'd tried her damndest to return the favour. She'd tried to be more approachable when he was around, to reveal more about herself, took him up on his offers to talk if anything was bothering her, tried to treat him the same way he treated her. And he would always smile and listen, always accept what she had to say. And he still would. Raven knew she could trust him with anything.

She opened her eyes and reached down to grab her mug, only to remember that she'd left it in the kitchen. Her eyes fell on the fortune and she read it again. _"I wish I could just leave. Things would be so much easier."_ At that, Raven almost laughed out loud. _"Yeah right. Where would I go? I have barely any money saved up. I wouldn't get very far._ " She brought her knees up to her chest. _"And besides… they'd come after me. Even if I told them the truth, they'd still try and keep me here. They wouldn't understand."_ She blinked as a lightbulb went over her head. _"Well, maybe Beastboy would. He had feelings for Terra."_ Then the lightbulb went out. _"Beastboy is the last person I want to talk to about my romantic life. Besides, Terra's gone. It isn't like she's dating Cyborg while he's watching from the sidelines."_

" _When you figure it out, will you tell me?"_ Raven could hear Robin's words echo in the silence.

" _One day._ "

She'd figured it out. She only had to tell him. But Raven still wasn't sure how. _"I don't want things to change. I just wish they'd stay the same._ " Raven stood up from her bed and walked over to the window, resting her forehead against the glass. _"They won't. Even if I told him and he accepted that I loved him and he continued loving Starfire, he'd never understand that I couldn't stop loving him because of what he means to me. I can't live with that kind of toxic feeling."_ Raven sighed. _"And eventually, I would either come to hate him or I would have to leave everything behind to forget my feelings for him._ "

Raven lost track of time as she stood there, brain and heart trying to figure out what she should do about the situation.

~Hollow~

A/N

So people are like: "How in the hell is Robin so clueless?"

That's what I was asking myself when he went after Starfire. Seriously, Robin?! Get it together.


	9. Sewing Needles

Raven walked into the common room, intent on eating before she went to meditate. She'd slept through breakfast, and if she skipped through lunch to meditate, she'd be unable to focus properly with the hunger pangs distracting her. The others were all assembled in the common room, in various places.

"How'd you lose the remote again?" Cyborg asked as he picked up the couch, shaking it around in hopes it would fall out somewhere. "This happens at least once a week."

"Don't blame me." Beastboy mumbled as he looked around the common room. "You were the one who lost it."

"How'd either one of you lose all of the remotes we have?" Raven asked. She walked into the kitchen where Robin was leaning against the counter looking at Beastboy and Cyborg with an amused smile. She filled a kettle with water and put it on the stove, waiting for it to heat up before making herself a meal. She nodded to Starfire, who was sitting at the counters on the opposite side of Raven and Robin, idly playing with Silkie.

Robin tapped the counter to get Raven's attention. She looked at him, and he opened a couple of utility belt compartments, where the remotes were stuffed into. He smirked at her, then turned back to the other two. Raven shook her head, just barely suppressing a smile. _"Of course_." She thought to herself. Raven had done the same thing once before to get Beastboy and Cyborg out of the common room so she could read in peace. She didn't always want to read in her room, after all.

The two searching for the remote continued to bicker. Raven's kettle began to whistle, and she moved it to a different burner, grabbing a mug and a teabag. She let it steep as she pushed Robin out of the way of the fridge, grabbing the sliced ham and closing the door and grabbing the bread off the counter and making a sandwich.

"Raven, can you help us out here?" Cyborg asked, clearly exasperated with the searching. Beside her, Robin snickered.

"I've told you a hundred times to stand up and changed the channel." She said.

"And I've told you a hundred times to stop joking like that!" He moaned, holding one hand to his face. "Why can't I just watch the newest episode of _Monster Truck Monsters_?!" He fell to his knees in despair. Robin grinned, but straightened his face when Cyborg looked up at him.

"I don't know, but why don't you- ow!" Raven gasped when Silkie bit down on the sandwich she was partway through making. He'd crawled across the counter while they were arguing amongst themselves. Raven shook her hand, and Starfire leaned over the counter, grabbing Silkie and pulling him off of Raven's hand. His teeth tore her leotard and left thin red lines along her hand.

"Oh Raven, I am so sorry!" Starfire exclaimed, glaring down at her pet. "That is a bad Silkie!" She told the larvae, gliding out of the room to take him away. "What happened to the table manners we have taught you?"

Raven healed the cuts, grabbing a paper towel and wiping the spit away. "Great. I'm out of sewing needles too, so now I have to…" Raven trailed off, mumbling curses under breath as she looked at the torn fabric falling at her wrist.

"How'd you lose your sewing needles?" Robin asked.

"Someone other than _me_ is going into my stuff and taking them. I put them back where they belong when I'm done." Raven said. She glared at Beastboy, though in reality it was Starfire and Cyborg who were taking her needles without permission.

Just as Beastboy was about to speak up and defend himself, Cyborg interrupted him (to cover his hide). "So Robin, your one year anniversary with Starfire is coming up soon. Got any special plans?" He asked, rubbing his hands together.

Robin looked towards the door to make sure Starfire wasn't about to come back in. The others leaned in. "I'm taking her to Haly's Circus in Gotham." He said with a smile, crossing his arms over his chest.

Cyborg and Beastboy looked completely and utterly confused. "The circus? Really? For something so important?" Cyborg asked, scratching his head. It was obvious a circuit had been blown somewhere in his brain.

"Yeah dude, you should take her back to Tokyo; you know, to reminisce about how far you've come together!" Beastboy chimed in.

He shook his head. "Starfire will understand when we get there." Robin said. He watched as Cyborg and Beastboy exchanged a confused glance, then shrugged their shoulders in unison. He turned to Raven. She looked shocked, and she hadn't spoken up yet. "...You okay?" He asked, turning to face her.

Raven straightened her face into it's usual apathy. "I'm fine." She put the bread away and walked away, her hunger completely forgotten. She made it through the doors and was halfway back to her room before Robin's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Raven, what's wrong?" He asked. She could feel the concern and confusion coming off him.

"Nothing." She muttered, eyes on the ground.

"It's not _nothing_. You've closed yourself off from me; I can't feel anything through our bond. Tell me what's going on." He asked, walking up behind her so there was only a few feet of space between them.

Raven turned around to face him. "You told me you didn't want to talk about your past." She took a step towards him. "You told me not to tell the others what I'd seen." Another step. "Why are you telling Starfire?" She asked. "I felt everything you felt. I saw everything you saw. Why?"

Robin looked stunned. "Because Starfire doesn't know about me, not really." He said after a moment. "I haven't told her everything about my past, even after all this time. I thought it would be a good idea to help us grow closer…" He explained.

"If you wanted to talk to someone about it, why not me? Aren't we close?" Raven asked, and the only thing that stopped her voice from sounding pleading was the years she'd spent hiding her true emotions.

"We _are_ close, Raven." He affirmed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "It's just different from the way Starfire is." He tried explaining. Robin jumped when the lights above them shattered.

"I need to meditate." She told him, brushing his hand away and walking down the hall. _"Is this my fault?"_ Raven asked herself. _"Did I miss my chance somewhere along the line? Would he be with me if I had asked for his love instead of assuming I had it?"_ Robin jogged and got in front of her, and she stopped again.

"Raven-" He started.

"I still haven't told you." She cut him off. He tilted his head slightly. "What's been going on with me, why I've been so distant lately. I figured it out." She closed her eyes and looked down at the ground.

Robin swallowed. He remembered their conversation in the monitor room, about how Raven had cried because she'd become so distant without really wanting to. "What is it?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Raven looked up at him, eyes firm and resolute. "Not now." She shook her head. "I'm too upset." She finally admitted to him after months of hiding from her feelings.

He hesitated, then nodded. "When you're ready." He said. Robin stepped to the side, watching as Raven walked down the hall to her room.

~Hollow~

Beastboy watched as Robin went after Raven, the latter clearly upset over something. Despite the fact that Robin had returned the remotes to him and Cyborg, he couldn't focus on the TV. Something was nagging at him.

Raven had been upset when they returned from Tokyo. No one could figure out why. She hid from them, barely talked to them when she was in the same room as them, and seemed almost unable to look at Robin. Then, the two had fought, and she'd almost gotten into a fight with Starfire. After that, she'd been kinda like a zombie, moving without purpose or emotion. A little while later, she'd just… returned to normal. Apparently, she and Robin and Starfire had all made up in the middle of the night.

But there was still something missing. And some small part of him, his animal senses most likely, had it figured out. But for whatever reason, the human part still couldn't figure it out. What had happened in Tokyo, or even before?

Beastboy blinked. _"When Robin mentioned that circus place, Raven's scent almost seemed depressed… and then she'd left suddenly…"_ He frowned, eyes staring ahead but not focused on anything. _"Come on brain, think! Raven's been sad since Tokyo, angry with Robin and Starfire… Tokyo, Robin, Starfire..._ "

Cyborg looked over as Beastboy stood up suddenly.

" _No way. It couldn't be what I'm thinking! Does Raven…"_ Beastboy turned to the door when it opened and Robin walked through. "Is she okay?" Beastboy asked as Robin walked over and sat down on the couch alongside them.

"She said she'd talk to me later." Was all he said, crossing his arms and looking down at the coffee table. _"I'm a little worried about what she_ _ **is**_ _going to say."_

~Hollow~

A/N

This chapter is short (I think the shortest of all) and honestly I think it's the worst so far, but I wanted it to be kind of straight to the point. Adding extra scenes wouldn't have benefited the feeling of the chapter, it would've been distracting, I feel.

The important part is Raven finally deciding to tell Robin how she feels, so anything that wasn't _that_ would've felt tacked on and out of place. Oh well. Everyone seems to be enjoying the rest of the story so far, so one bad chapter can be excused.

Right? (;~;)


	10. A Farewell Without a Word

Raven tapped the end of her pen against the piece of paper on her desk, hoping that the words she wanted to write would magically appear on the couple of pages she'd ripped out of the diary Beastboy had given her so long ago. Even though the thought was foolish and she knew it was foolish, she still had yet to write anything

Even though she'd sat down half an hour ago, everytime Raven touched the tip of the pen to the paper, she hesitated. Even after all this time, she was still afraid to tell Robin how she felt. Maybe, if she had told him earlier, she wouldn't be in this situation.

But months and months ago, she had been afraid too. She'd never planned on love. Never planned on living long enough to fall in love with anyone, never planned on falling in love with someone she was going to be around 24/7. Never planned on losing that love to another, either. Raven was starting to realize that she'd been given so many opportunities to tell him how she felt, and that she'd passed on so, _so_ many opportunities to ask for his love. But she was never good at dealing with emotions.

Her entire childhood had been built around controlling them, stuffing them into tiny pockets or sealing them away completely if need be. The closest she normally came to showing any amount of emotion was through sarcasm, whether in or out of battle. But nothing good had ever come of her showing emotion; losing control due to fear, feeling upset at their missing teammates, letting anger get the better of her… it almost always ended in her friends and any nearby objects were injured or destroyed.

So to suddenly be feeling an emotion that was commonly described as the most powerful feeling one could possibly experience… it was no wonder she was clueless how to act.

Until now.

That was, if she could work past the fear. Even though she'd decided to tell him her thoughts and feelings through a written medium, the idea that Robin would read this and know how she _truly_ felt still made her hands shake and caused her chest to tighten up. Part of her was sad at feeling fear telling Robin, of all people, the truth. There was once a time when she would've happily told him anything if he'd asked.

It was because deep down, Raven knew that once she told Robin everything, things would change. And she hated change. Her daily routines may not change, the villains certainly wouldn't stop attacking, and her friends weren't going anywhere anytime soon. But things would change between her and Robin. How long would the awkward encounters last, the uncomfortable silences and never making eye contact because of the shame eating away at her? How long would she have to avoid speaking to him unless it was _absolutely_ necessary?

And how long until the news spread to the others, to Starfire and Beastboy and Cyborg and Titans East and all the other honorary Titans? How long would she have to endure pitying looks and the "You can talk to us" from her friends? She didn't want pity. She didn't want things to change.

But things had already changed, Raven realized, so long ago when Robin and Starfire had first declared their love for each other in Tokyo.

She finally realized what had to be done. Things had changed, and she needed to change too. The pain was eating away at her, and if she stayed, one day Raven would end up bitter and full of hatred, leading an unfulfilling life, questioning why she bothered to continue at all. The only way to free herself was to escape.

She picked up the pen and started writing. The words started flowing freely after that. A couple of tears fell from her cheeks onto the paper as she wrote, but she wiped her eyes and continued, trying her best to explain why she was leaving, that she didn't hate him or Starfire, and that maybe one day, if they ever met again, they could friends once again.

As she stood and folded the letter, there was a part of her that was already telling her that she was being foolish. What about the villains? More importantly, how far would she get before Robin and the others started searching for her? Even if Robin didn't know how to respond to her confession, even if he never told the others that Raven loved him, Beastboy and Cyborg and Starfire wouldn't want their friend to leave.

Raven pushed those thoughts of her mind. They had all saved her life, so many times, not only from villains in the midst of battle, but from the weight of Trigon's prophecy as well. Shouldn't she be the one to decide what happened with it? She wanted to be happy, and staying here wouldn't grant that wish.

~Hollow~

Looking around her now barren room, she sighed. Putting everything into an easily accessible hammerspace she created with her magic had taken a lot out of her.

Well, not everything was gone. The one thing she'd left behind was the picture Robin had taken with her, one she'd framed and kept on her nightstand. The good memory he promised had remained intact, but looking at it just reminded Raven of something she could never have.

It was dark out. Before she put her clock away, it had read a little past 10. She'd spent a little while packing, so now it had to be closer to 11, possibly later. After a quick internal debate, she decided not to stay another night. If she wanted to put distance between herself and the Titans, it would be best to move as soon as possible, instead of waiting.

She left her communicator, the picture, and the papers on her bed. Once the others realized she was missing from the Tower, the first place they'd go is her room. A part of her was worried that someone other than Robin would find the note, but ultimately, Raven realized that she would be gone when the truth was revealed, so it wouldn't matter either way.

Exiting her room and heading to the roof, she stepped out into the cool night air. It was getting close to winter, and she pulled her cloak tighter around herself as the wind whipped around her. For a moment, she stood still and closed her eyes, before ascending into the air and flying towards Jump City.

The first step in her plan was to get clear of California. Once she got to Nevada, she'd stop and rest.

And after that, Raven would take it one day at a time.

~The End~


End file.
